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I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is a comedy radio programme broadcast on BBC Radio 4 (from 1972 - present day). It is best-known for the convoluted game Mornington Crescent. It does include games with more robust rules such as Cheddar Gorge, improvised limerickss and the singing of one song to the tune of another (sadly no computer can yet store the principles upon which that round depends). The show is also notable for including far more and far ruder innuendo and double entendre than the BBC would ever broadcast on television in a similar early evening timeslot. For example: "She's become quite friendly with the two elderly archivists, Jack and Arthur. They've recently gone part time, so Samantha's come to a working arrangement. She does the paperwork, Arthur gets her forty-fives out, and Jack's off all afternoon."

The show bills itself as "the antidote to panel games". The regular stars are:

Since the death of Willie Rushton, the fourth panel member is normally a weekly guest. Additional members of the crew are musician Colin Sell at the piano, and the mute, possibly fictional scorers, who include the lovely Samantha, Sven and Monica. The team have apparently trialled many "advanced laser scoreboards" over recent decades.

A prolific correspondent to the chairman over the years has been the idiosyncratic Mrs. Trellis of North Wales.

The closing round is often "Late Arrivals at the such-and-such Ball" which descends directly from frequent incidental dialogue included in the earlier, scripted BBC Radio Four series I'm Sorry, I'll Read that Again. Late arrivals at the Drunkard's Ball could for example include Mr.and Mrs.Large-Whisky and their son Oliver Large-Whisky (a pun on "I'll have a large whisky").

Some early episodes of the series were wiped in the late 1970s. Following the BBC's Treasure Hunt appeal for missing material at least three episodes were returned in the form of off-air reel to reel recordings (by Wikipedian Lee M).

Guest panellists have included

Guest pianist, when Colin Sell has been double booked and the ISIHAC team have won the coin toss, has been former Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band member and Monty Python collaborator Neil Innes

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